Detox Cruise?

It started with a pill, then 3 more. But the diet part has major flaws. It overlooks completely everything that is on my normal diet. What is wrong with a coffee and muffin for breakfast, a coffee and tiramisu for lunch, and fish and chips with champagne for dinner? The exercise program has taken all my strength and willfullness away. I drag myself along two steps behind Tricia. We get lost a lot. Most of the food on this cruise is now off-limits, no alcohol, no sweets. The maid testingly keeps putting chocolates on my pillow. At least the open air Jacuzzis are relaxing while watching the Swedish coastline sail by, and whatever is screening on the giant screen. Even when raining. I would have enjoyed over eating and drinking my way around Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Germany, Estonia, Russia, and Finland on an obscene luxury cruise. However, a detox and exercise program is also viable, at least for one day. However, the thousands of Service staff don't comprehend it. Would you like wine sir, cakes, ...? A constant barrage of friendly service to help kill each and every passenger on board.